Living Unoffended in a World Full of "Those" People

In a world that seems increasingly divided, it's all too easy to find ourselves frustrated, angry, or offended by "those" people. You know the ones - they're critical, controlling, arrogant, and sometimes downright mean. They're the ones ranting on social media, spreading rumors at the office, or causing tension at family gatherings. But as followers of Christ, we're called to a higher standard. We're called to love everyone, even "those" people who challenge us the most.

The apostle Paul, in his letter to the Ephesians, offers us profound wisdom on how to navigate these challenging relationships and maintain our spiritual integrity. He writes, "In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold" (Ephesians 4:26-27).

This passage acknowledges a fundamental truth: anger itself is not inherently sinful. It's a natural human emotion. However, how we handle that anger can lead us down a dangerous path. Paul warns us that holding onto anger, nurturing offenses, and rehearsing hurts gives the devil a foothold in our lives.

The Greek word used for "foothold" is "topos," which literally means "a place" or "a room." In other words, when we cling to our anger, we're essentially inviting the enemy into our hearts, giving him room to work in our lives. This sobering realization should make us pause and consider the consequences of our unchecked emotions.

Imagine if the forces of darkness were strategizing against us. Their plan might look something like this:

1. Divide families, friends, and churches
2. Distract Christians from their mission
3. Discredit their witness

When we allow ourselves to remain angry and offended, we unwittingly cooperate with this destructive strategy. We become easier to divide, more prone to distraction, and our witness loses its credibility.

So how do we combat this? Paul gives us clear instructions: "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry." This implies that the day of our hurt should also be the day of our healing. It's a call to swift reconciliation and forgiveness.

Imagine how different our relationships would be if we embraced this principle. What if, on the very day someone offended us, we chose to forgive? What if, when we realized we had hurt someone, we immediately sought reconciliation? This approach has the power to transform our families, friendships, and faith communities.

Paul goes on to instruct us, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Ephesians 4:29). This challenges us to consider our words carefully. Are we speaking life and encouragement, or are we tearing others down?

To help us navigate this, consider adopting these guidelines in your relationships:

1. Never call names
2. Never yell
3. Never get "historical" (bringing up past hurts)
4. Never say "you never" or "you always"
5. For married couples: Never threaten divorce

These practical steps can help us maintain respect and love in our interactions, even when tensions are high.

Paul's advice culminates in a powerful exhortation: "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" (Ephesians 4:31-32).

This is the heart of the matter. We're called to be kind, compassionate, and forgiving - attributes that require close proximity. It's easy to shout truth from a distance, but it takes time and effort to love up close. We must ask ourselves: Do we want to make a point, or do we want to make a difference?

The challenge for many of us is recognizing that we can sometimes be "those" people ourselves. We all have the capacity for self-righteousness and judgment. That's why it's crucial to regularly pray the humbling words of Psalm 139:23-24: "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

This prayer invites God to reveal our blind spots, to show us where we're harboring anger, carrying offenses, or failing to be kind and compassionate. It's a courageous act of submission that allows God to transform us from the inside out.

In conclusion, we must remember that being offended is inevitable in this fallen world. But living offended is a choice. Every minute we spend in anger is a minute lost to joy, peace, and the opportunity to make a positive difference in someone's life.

As followers of Christ, we have a higher calling. We're called to be kind and compassionate, to forgive as we've been forgiven. In a divided world, we need to be a united church. In a dark world, we need to shine brightly with the love of Christ.

Let's commit to making a difference, not just making a point. Let's choose to live unoffended, extending grace and forgiveness to "those" people - and in doing so, perhaps discover that we're all more alike than we realized, all in need of God's transforming love.